Saturday, March 5, 2016

The Other Side (Part 2)

The Other Side (Part 1)

The sun bounces off the shiny backs of the swans as they vainly swim across the lake, away from me. A few ducks gather around as I brood; I talk to them about Elisa, "I have never loved the woman." I say to them, "Yet, it has been fifteen years - living under the same roof, raising two kids, listening to her complaints...dragging, pulling, pushing each other towards a finish line which does not exist. Where did all the time go?"

I let out a huge sigh, scaring the ducks and they fly right over my head making me hunker down. The soft blades of the grass brush against my bristly cheek and cause an irritation, and I absentmindedly pull out a few strands and throw them into the water. Having to follow the stream of the water, they vanish in a few seconds. That's how our life is, I muse, we follow the currents of the society and quickly vanish, fade away...loosing out on life.

I stretch to straighten my back and it is then that I see her. She was messed up, but in a beautiful way. She had woken up with a purpose this morning, I could tell - just by looking at the way she was walking towards the lake, her steps unwavering, her eyes fixed on the far end.

That is what Elisa lacks, a purpose. For her, life is a burden - she lacks joy, always fixating on the negative things. Just this morning, when I was leisurely buttering a burnt toast, she had started off, "There, there, keep a check on your waistline and as it is the prices of butter have gone up! You do know, I'm planning to cut down our costs, don't you?" And then, as I was walking out the door, "There's no money to pay for Jim's football, you'll have to go to the bank today!" she said in her piercing voice. In that instant, honest to God, I wanted to strangle the woman. But instead I quietly walked away.

That is how most our conversations take place, if you can call it that. And there was nothing significantly different in today's morning that led me to act the way I did. So I don't know why I didn't take my usual bus to my workplace, but instead walked aimlessly in an opposite direction till my legs ached and then jumped on the next bus that came my way. And here I am now, on the other side...

As I contemplate on where to go now, what to do next, I once again get distracted by the woman. Her face, her naked expressions give away nothing, but as she inches closer and closer to the lake, I know something is wrong, and obeying my instincts I leap up and make a dash towards her.

"Miss...Miss...excuse me. Hello?" I shout but my voice falls flat...

(To be contd...)

Linking to Three Word Wednesday - naked, obey, piercing
and to BAR'S Wordy Wednesday - irritate, instant


  1. I was hooked from part 1 and this has just increased my curiosity. You paint a beautiful picture. I could feel, sitting right next to him, his life wasting away. The grass analogy was beautiful.

    I do hope the next part is the conclusion :)

  2. Good writing is when the one reading can picture herself in the frame..that's what you have done here, Aditi :)

  3. Aditi,

    I'll reserve my comments till I finish the thing. Though, I must admit - I'd love more frequent updates. That's sort of the issue with short stories that are in parts.
    I'll say this - I'm enjoying seeing your narration improve dramatically since the first time I read you; I know I'm not in any position to really comment on writing, but for what it's worth, do take it as a compliment.

  4. What happens next? Am intrigued.

  5. Wonderful narration Aditi! Waiting to see what happens next.

  6. ohh I can't wait to read the next part... it's sad that he has to deal with so much... You have got all the readers intrigued. :)

  7. Hmmm...*drumming fingers restlessly* aww, come installment soon! Aditi your narration is just too good. Seamless flow, the protagonist's angst and frustration so clearly brought out! Next part....soon please!

  8. This charming woman sure has worked her magic :)
    Nicely linked to the prompts.

  9. Intriguing, the bit about the other side makes me shiver.

  10. When do get to know what happens next? Smoothly linked with the prompts and the plot is getting thicker and more intriguing........