Saturday, December 26, 2015

#SaturdayWordplay 12 - Aquiver

T'was in the teen years when,
aquiver at the prospect of
leading a new life,
with the man I thought I was in love.
I said Yes...

I shut my eyes, even as my ears bled,
to the fear gnawing at me from inside.
"This is not who you are"
"You ain't designed this way"
the voices many I shut out, suffocating
under my beautiful beaded white dress.


The first night was a struggle,
the next a torture.
And each night I asked myself,
"What do I really want from life?"
Am I leading a life,
to fulfill the society's expectation?
Just as I had grown up
fulfilling my Pa's demands?

I shared a life with a man, my room his space,
But my existence imaginary.
Often I would float above my body,
and look at the two of us.
It was tiring to see how heavy,
this relationship weighed.

What was it,
that was binding me still?
The fear of loneliness?
But it couldn't be worse,
than waking next to the man
you didn't love, could it?

Life surprised me one day,
answers lay before me, in flesh and skin,
as a seagull flapped its wings,
knocking on my window pane.
"I gotta leave,
learn to ride the currents on my own"
I said to myself.

An earthquake stirred inside of me,
aquiver at the prospect of
leading a new life,
on my own,
I somehow found the courage in me,
and from the heights of the blue sky,
I head first plunged into the deep blue sea.

I sailed through, and found a land.
Maybe a future worth living for?
I didn't' know yet.
It'll take a while to make up for all the years.
design my own life from scratch,
But despite the uncertainty,
there was a calm, comfort
suspended in the ocean air.

©AditiKaushiva

Aquiver- (adj.) in a state of trepidation or vibrant agitation; trembling; quivering

Today's word prompt 'Aquiver' has been suggested by a dear friend and #blogbuddy Reema D'souza. I am pleased to be co-hosting this week's #SaturdayWordplay with her. Prose or poetry, use this word, make it work for you and link up with us here:

P.S. Also linking to Poets United Midweek Motif ~ Design


16 comments:

  1. Such a dreamy, floaty verse echoing the insecurities and burden of being tied down in an lovelorn relationship! Lovely!

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  2. Your lines describe in a touching way the inner emotion and angst of a person stuck in a relationship which is not really one, but feels more like a burden and a cage for the heart and soul. "I sailed through, and found a land." - Great line there!

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    1. Thanks Beloo. I have seen this at closed quarters...relationships feeling like a burden. I hope if any one feels caged, they find the courage in them to break through.

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  3. Amazing,the way you have expressed in beautiful verse such profound feelings. True of so many relations around us.Your insight so profound and your expression simple and yet so powerful and touching as always

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  4. The pain, the anger and the accompanying emotions have been so beautifully brought out! Great job! :)

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  5. The pain, the fear and finally the courage to break free from a rotten relationship...all of this expressed very effectively! The day's word prompt 'aquiver' used very aptly Aditi. Good job :)

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  6. Hard hiting! Brilliant usage of the word; rather the idea behind the word.

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  7. You have described the turmoil, pain and agitation in this lovely poem

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Thats an awesome wordplay which made it a good poem too :)
    https://uniqusatya.wordpress.com/

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