Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Part 10 - He'll always remain your Pa

Contd from Part 9 - Dreams

"I could carry you 100 times over" I heard him say to Ma, his breath enveloping hers as he carried her gently in his arms like a new born up those steps into her new home. It is so effortless, their love, I could endlessly gaze at them, their warmth touching my heart. Ma still touches him now and then assuring herself this is all real, not a dream, not a ghost, very real!

I was packing my bags as he came to my room. We shared a cordial relationship, comfortable but still awkward. So I wasn't expecting such a tender and compassionate hug from him. "Thank you" he said, his arms still around me.

The first time I saw him he was sitting in the yellow light, the letter in his trembling hand, rocking in his chair, his tears rolling down his face unashamedly. He didn't move. didn't speak, didn't make an effort to wipe his salty face. I didn't judge him, reading that letter had me shaken too...

Dear S.S
This perhaps is my 31st letter you, each one of the earlier ones torn and thrown in the dustbin. I don't know where to begin. Should I ask for forgiveness first or should I just confess and pray that you understand. It is not easy living with this guilt...sometimes when she looked at me I feared she knew the truth. I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of calling myself a friend, a husband. But I was a good father...I was proud to be his Pa...until today. Until today...when he came to know the truth and left home...bringing me back to the bitter reality that I was not his father. You were! I was just living a make-believe dream. All this...this family...he...belonged to you. 
Remember how I had always yearned for a family...though your family had taken me in, giving me all that they gave you, never differentiating between us, it still hurt whenever I saw you sitting on your father's lap, eating out of your mother's hand...it reminded me I was an orphan...it reminded me I was born alone...
You were not there when he was born, when his cries filled the hospital room with joy, when my little finger was between his tiny hands as he slept and his grip became a little tighter as he sneezed his tiny sneeze for the first time. You were not there when he crawled down from his cot on his own, when he wobbled and fell trying to walk. You were not there when he said "Pa" for the first time, his voice golden, the word so pure so magical. You were not there...I was! 
And then suddenly after five years you appeared...I did genuinely search for you initially...after all Kiran was yours, only yours...you didn't even know about Karan...and then your letters came and I did want to tell her. I so wanted you two to be together...but I feared...I feared that...I feared losing my son. I feared...

I saw him reading the letter again. I saw him nodding his head vigorously the tears still flowing. I was standing in the shadow of the door so he couldn't see me. But he knew someone was there, "Anuj?" his voice shaky, distant. "He is no more..." was my meek reply. I stepped into the yellow light, "I am his son...yours....Karan".

I still think how easily Pa was forgiven by the ones to whom he had done the most wrong. But I can also see how much they are in love and nothing else matters to them. The past is forgotten, forgiven...they just live in the now, in each others arms. I bid them farewell and they wave their goodbyes from their free hand, the other one entwined with each others. I still remember their last words..."Come back soon" hers and "He'll always remain your Pa" his.

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18 comments:

  1. awww. so sweet that after all those years, they were reunited - and the son met the father.

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    1. Tex thank you so much for being with me throughout this journey, for being the first one to comment as soon as my post was up!! You are a darling! Lv :-*

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  2. Nice happy ending! Liked d narration Adi, keep writing :)

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  3. I was so moved by this...profoundly. It brought tears to my eyes...it was that good. ♥

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    1. Hugs Kathy!! Thank you :) means a lot!

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  4. loved the way u ended it...life is really too short to keep clinging on to circumstances, forgiving and moving on is one lesson that life teaches you! beautifully narrated Aditi...thumbs up!! and i loved the poem in the previous part too!

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    1. Thank you so much dear and appreciate your constant support and lovely comments all through!

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  5. Aditi *clap clap* very well done sweetie... and the character of Anuj somehow touched me the most...

    Richa

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    1. Thanks Richa :) so glad the 'serial' queen enjoyed this! Seriously hats off to you...the way you time and again amaze us with your short stories!
      Anuj was really a central character in the whole story and his his reasons for keeping the truth were heartwarming to me as well!

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  6. what a lovely story.

    Wishing you a magical Christmas season and all the good things in 2014! :<)

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    1. Thanks Geraldine :)
      Enjoy your holidays and a very merry Christmas!

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  7. lovely story Aditi,beautifully written

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  8. Bitter-sweet ending. Very nicely written story. I liked Anuj's character a lot.

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    1. Thanks Suzy...glad you liked it. The full novella 'All for love' is also now available for download :) just look at the top of the right side bar under my downloads! :)

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